In a logical twist that can only be described as ‘bizarre’, Apple unveiled their newly minted plan for improving their oft-ridiculed ios 6 maps application.
Instead of hiring a small team of developers to improve terrestrial imaging and GPS coordinate matching, Apple has hired 182,300 construction workers to perfrom what the company calls “Reverse Geography.”
“Reverse Geography is changing the physical landscape to fit the imagery depicted in the best mapping software in the world, Apple Maps”, said Tim Cook, Apple CEO.
“We were hit hard by complaints that first week and acted decisively. We knew, since it was an Apple product, that the map software was perfect. It was the world that needed improvement. It also didn’t hurt that hiring tens of thousands of laid off construction workers was more cost effective than the 8-10 developers it would have taken to change the software. But, like I said, why mess with perfect?”
Work started almost immediately to move the Dulles International Airport runway 4 miles east to make way for a new road that shows prominently on the apple maps.
Similar efforts are underway to relocate the Brooklyn Bridge and to paint large swaths of land white.
“”This changes everything, again. Again.”, reads Apple’s new marketing slogan on the eve of unveiling their terra-forming strategy.
In late trading AAPL shares were up 3.5%
